So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
