come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
