You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize