Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
