He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
