I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
