I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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