i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
