If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
