Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
