Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
