Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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