I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
