dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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