i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
