so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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