she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
