ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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