Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
