remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
