My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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