'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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