Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
