Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
