And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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