Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
