she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
