So drunk its hurt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
