i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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