Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
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