His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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