You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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