Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize