Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
