we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As shirtless as possible
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
