problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
