Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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