I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
