Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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