You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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