Porn is love you can see.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
