I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
