if you like me you must not know who I am
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
