I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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