buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
