He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
