I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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