Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All the doctor said was why
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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