I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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