i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
