I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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