how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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