is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
