I think i peed on brittanys purse
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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