You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
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It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
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