just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
