theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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