Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
