you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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