And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
